Hey all,
To start off, I'll be 23 this month, I'm a female, and I'm currently a final semester Nursing student, to be more specific, I've finished nursing school, I only require my 300 hours of pre-graduate work experience to graduate. I'm from Ontario, Canada.
Over the past 3 years I've gone from a comfortable 140 pounds, my current weight of 200 pounds, at 5'4. I can't even begin to remember how this all started, I can make a lot of excuses like a relationship break-up, school stress, my parents moving our family out of the city I grew up in, etc. but I can't pinpoint anything and it's just been a gradual downhill road.
Now at 200 pounds I have almost zero self-esteem or confidence in myself. I have problems with even the simplest things like going to the grocery store alone because of my low self-esteem. I have zero social life. I used to go out often, but over the past few years its just gotten worse and worse to the point of where I am now where I don't go out at all. I ALWAYS turn my friends down who ask to go out because of my low self-esteem. Because of this I've lost touch with a lot of friends as well. The few friends I do still talk to on a regular basis constantly tell me I'm crazy and 200lbs is nothing to hide over and I over-exaggerate the seriousness of it, but to me it is a big issue regardless of what others think.
This has also affected my schooling. I've already attempted to complete my 300 hours of work experience, but didn't get the passing grade because I was constantly leaving work, calling in sick, etc because of my low self-esteem and just not wanting to be there/around people. I would cry almost everyday, so now I'm stuck having to repeat the 300 hours which I was offered to do this summer, but I declined (it is available all-year round to complete) until I figure myself out. No point in going back right away when my personal issues are still very present.
Now I'm at home (live with my parents) but unemployed, with very little money left. The problem for me now is not wanting to go get a part-time job. My self-esteem issue is so out of control that I do not want to go out and work around people. I'm not lazy at all, this is just my self-esteem and weight issue that's causing me to feel this way. At this point I don't know what to do. I know that if I lose the weight things will get better but right now I don't even have any motivation to work-out, or eat better. I'm afraid I've let it go too far. I don't have a very supportive family, they're kind of old-fashioned, and I don't blame them but I've been home for about 3 weeks now and get hounded everyday about not working (although I take care of my palliative grandfather who's living w/us while they're at work most of the time) but I know I have no money left and need to find a job, I know I need to make things better emotionally, socially, but I have no motivation anymore.
I really need some advice on what to do at this point with no motivation left in me? How do I move forward, get out of this hole? I also know that if I do get a part-time job now, I'll focus all of my attention on not wanting to be there/around people, and won't be able to multi-task working out and losing weight at the same time. I know I need to work at the weight issue before I go anywhere, but with no money it's hard, and with no motivation it's even harder.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Best answer:
I had the same experience. I became anti-social because of my weight. At only 5'2" I went from 130lbs to 176. I started ignoring friends, skipping class, not wanting to work. and i never wanted to go anywhere alone, i always had to beg my brother. I saw myself WAY fatter than i really was. I withdrew from my college to go back home.
Anyways, I began seeing a therapist, and then a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression. The doctor prescribed me with 20mg of lexapro. Since being on lexapro, I have went down to 160. My social anxiety is gone, and i actually WANT to go do things, like running. I am now training for my first 10k, and I hope to be back to 130 by the end of the year.
Trust me, seeing that therapist was the BEST thing I could have done for my situation. Please, go talk to someone. Get help for the social anxiety, and the low self esteem.
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Orignal From: Weight gain affecting entire life, what now?
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